Why am I starting this blog now considering it has been more than two years since our boys moved in and more than a year and half since we completed the adoption?
The main reason is to make myself accountable for the things I say and want to accomplish. Another reason is in hopes that one day my boys will be able to read all about my fears and excitement about being their mom and hopefully understand what was in my head when I said or did the things I did.
Like this morning when I yelled at my 6-year-old, Felix. I woke up a bit late and after showering and dressing myself, heard the boys arguing about whose pants were whose. After I checked the size tags (something they could have done themselves) my 8-year-old, Dennis, comes to the breakfast table wearing his pants backwards. The zipper was on his butt! For a second I thought that perhaps he was being innovative (although Kriss Kross had started the failed trend back in the early 90’s but he wasn’t even born then so it would have been innovative to him). When I pointed them out to him he was just as confused about it as I was. After this ordeal, my six-year-old can’t find his lunch pail and is destroying his room looking for it. In the mean time I am cleaning up after breakfast and already putting his lunch in a plastic bag while yelling at him to forget it and get ready to go. The "mean mom" yelling began when I learned he had not brushed his teeth yet nor did he have socks or shoes on. After doing all I did this morning and considering they do the same thing every school morning, I got really frustrated when he wasn't ready to go. Yelling never makes anyone feel better, it actually makes us all feel worse. My boys went through lots of awful stuff in foster care and while I know I will never hurt them physically, I should know better than to yell at them the way I did this morning. I made Felix cry. On the drive to school I said to Felix, “I’m sorry I yelled at you but I was really frustrated. It was not OK for me to yell the way I did but one day you will understand.” That was when I got the idea to blog about it.
Lots of people told me raising kids was hard. They were right but none of them raised children who were raised by dozens others before they got them. I think it is even harder. I will share more about my boys and their transition from foster care into their forever home, and about my awesome husband too, in daily postings. Thanks for reading!
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I are just starting the foster to adopt process and are looking to adopt infant girls. It is so nice to be able to read somebody else's experiences with adopting slightly older children, as we really are not sure what to expect!
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